a world so selfish and indescreet-audio

a world so selfish by stephiefairy

skeleton ghosts

skeleton ghosts

i look at the page
a skeleton of age
yet whilst i look at the bones
and the deep sunken eyes
i feel strictly disowned
I feel lost and despised
but that self that i was
with no manner of thighs
lingers still like a ghost
(at the back of my soul)
rips me up spits me out
but it makes me back whole

drunken sex,
forgotton nights
they can cover it up
they can hold me
and breathe me
and make me feel loved
but i still cant
decieve me
i cant cover the rut
when i see skeletons still breathing
i feel fearful mistrust

and all i want is to see me
but i still cant adjust
all i want is believe me
to trust love, not just lust
and i'm looking for closure
for some calm and some peace
and i want it to leave me
give me some kind of release

looking back at those ghosts
on the page full of sad
i feel honestly angry
Heartbroken and MAD

this heartbreaking anger
it waits then it posts
me home to the future
then snoozes til almost

..forgotton in me

...again i feel almost

i feel almost free

until the day i stumble
and fall by a mirror
on my ghosts image, i mumble
at which point anger and fear
in a cycle decending ..(yet jumbled)
reappear..
which seems frankly never ending
but i shall keep just pretending ..(in jest)

untill i can lay that old ghost down to rest

words untrue

a Lie is made of words untrue
created only to defuse
a situation unknown just now
a creation to tell me how
you didnt do it..
you didnt say it
it wasnt you who
Made it
or Inflated
your very own ego, says
your Far to clever
..to be caught
you make it new
lies can be taught..
in your own head, to be true
Anticipate it.
but from this lie we're through
You'll comiserate its
telling, only you
will know what caused this route
now yelling..
dream we're not through
the dreams happy,
we start a new

but its not true..

this lie.. is through

inprinted-by me

Devoid of meaning
destructive time
meaning is gleaming
some sense from a rhyme
while others are teaming
burnt hearts with sublime
my meaning is dreaming
of times far past crime
insufficiency screaming
deficient of time
please tell me im breathing
please say this dreams mine

for i forgot..
that dreaming stops..
our bodys rot..
dissolve away,
into the ground
into a sound
a molecule.. remained
and inprinted on his face
patterned lace

for one last embrace

another moschops poem

Cover me in light grenades
Cover me in giin
Help me through these dark crusades
whilst we win, through life of sin

Cover me in therapy
With paracites and darts
slice me with the knie i free
we rejoiced as we ripped our hearts

Free me with insanity
Free me up with sin
Free my lost profanity
and follow me back..

Then begin

.. if you love mark ryden

I love mark ryden.. and i absolutely love this.. He has worked with fashion designer Nagi Noda to create this which is not only amazing typical mark ryden imagery but an actual clothing line called “Broken Label” :) made my day so i had to share it :D

another new blog..

I've made a new blog.. go follow.. and share with people you know.. much love :) http://brokenyetbendy.blogspot.com/ :)

a world so selfish and indiscreet

i start with structure
rhyme and poise
but heart meant composure
can remind us of noise
an outside enclosure
wind up toys..
board games boys and rhymes
that is a memory
a centenary
a reminder of times
where our employees became our friends
but where our democracy
became dictatorship again
a time of bureaucracy
peoples identities end

you know i had a thought
that we ought
to never forget
to stop these cycles
and never let
these cycles go round
and start again
but does a clock stop ticking? ..
i mean, what happens then.. ?

for good there must be bad
for happy, also sad
for calm there's also mad
for ungrateful there's always glad

perhaps (a friend suggested)
for all the ups there must be downs
for you know your hearts infectious
it sets out sparks
your actions mean to do good
for that you must be ill
but i mean i wonder what i should
do.. bring on a chill?
and is that how this cycle..
picks up and starts again?

the good are wronged
the bad get it good
the reversal is duel pronged
but equality should.. remain
disdain torture and pain
endured by the same
who want to fix
the world and its woes
but cant compose
or bring themselves to carry on
or complete
..this treat
for a world so selfish and indiscreet


original poemio by stephania moschopios battyman x

an eternal daydream may seem
a peaceful thought,
but i ask.. will it last?
...can one remain in that cast?
for me, stuck in this
i scream not dream
this nightmare engulfs me
serene between
life filled with anguish
hold on to my dream
of chaos and language
i long for extremes

(written by moschopio)

moschops revival

http://moschopsrevival.blogspot.com/


for health updates

a new year, a new life, new plans, new dreams

so here i am.. in a new year, this one adds up to 4, 4 is a number i hold very dear, therefore it should be a very special year.. maybe this year i will truly find my direction from the imperfection that is my life.

ive discovered my life wont be how i want it to be just because i tell it too, and no matter how hard i try i cant avoid the inevitable relapses.. but what i can do is live my life as productively and purposefully as i can and try to make the spaces between relapse grow and make sure i never give up.. and never allow the permenance that the drs always tell me my relapses will be..

i have many many plans though.. i may be at this time entirely incapaacitated.. but dreams are made to follow.. whats the poinyt in dreams you dont pursue.. and i have come up with a multitude of ideas which need to be followed throuh..

on another note ive started a new progress more health orientated blog..this one is more to do with life as a whole and dreams and persistance and stubbornness.. the other is about progress health and complications mainly to save me telling everyone the same storys updates etc so have a follow

well the fall came..

college was perhaps a dream i jumped into with my eyes closed and did not allow my body to catch the lifebuoys before i was swept under back into illness and ceiling staring.

for all those wonderful people who find pleasure in attempting to destroy me..

conspire to hire and fire my mind, inspire a lier, make them seem kind.. and when your fire consumes my mind, you wont enquire why i was left behind..

i miss you jessie :(

so many birthdays of people i have lost and anniversarys of deaths coming up.. these will be a long hard few months..

but for now

happy birthday jessie.. you are one of the only reasons i have been this strong.. now youve gone i feel kind of lost.. i love you so much.. never forget that.. miss you xxx

this weekend i have learnt..

that having a few people around you who want to be there is more important then being around everyone.

that there are people out there who are genuinely lovely, fun and nice to be with and who i am very grateful to have in my life :)

and that if you ignore conjunctivitis and continue to wear contacts you get a very yukki red eye..

when your so tired you cannot even contemplate continuing to exist in this reality..

off you float to find another..

.. but where will i land today?

Sometimes sadness comes out of nowhere and turns everything into nothing.

Sometimes no one will understand why or who you are and you cannot blame them because you don't even know.

Sometimes there will be parts of your life you cannot remember yet you will have to go on with your life knowing people around you know more about them then you do.. go around watching, distrusting .. people are out to get you..

People just want to hurt other people, that is the meaning of life, most people are cruel cold and calculated.. that's whats worse about it..

progress is not succeeding but the ability to contemplate success

terrified of going back to where i was.. terrified of the memorys that haunt me.. but progress progress is happening now, life is changing. even if i dont succeed just to contemplate the possibility is progress.. not that long ago an achievement was to be sat up for 5 minutes.. now im going to college..

that is indeed an achievement and i must hold this positive in my mind, in 4 days time i will be getting my things ready for my first day of college.

as you get to know me you will understand the achievement.. for now just hold that this for me is huge :)

rhythmic renditions

Edit

sanity..

sanity..

what is sanity?. is it something that you get for free? is it somthing everyone gets but me? what is sanity? why do i have to fight.. to reignite the senses of my brain, that fight the deranged lunacys that were strange.. but to me never strange.. never mad, everything felt normal whilst they said my madness ...had.. flown. grown.. sown its seeds.. around my brain.. to take my needs to make me lame, and never tame.. to look the same.. to feel the same.. to be the same.. inside my brain but to you.. im new.. crazy daisy lazy blue.. you never knew.. you never knew.. it was all because of you..

so to explain the layout of this blog..

firstly i dont understand punctuation and grammer. i tend to right rythmically, music makes much more sense to me, so i apologise for my mistakes in this.. please feel free to help me with this but please dont be one of these absolutely irritating grammer nazi's who think just because you cant understand something entirely illogical you must have an iq of less then 30..

i will be writing from the past and the present.. this blog is to help me sort my memorys of life and what has happened to me at the same time as recording progression.. life is an interesting concept which cannot be mapped in an entirely straight line, to find direction in imperfection one must take a non logical route.